Patriarchy is an image that you can’t unsee. You know that optical illusion where you see either a swan-necked young woman or an old woman with a jutting chin? And then suddenly you see the other? Just as with these ambiguous image illusions, patriarchy is often hiding in plain sight—and once it’s perceived it’s hard to ignore.
I didn’t always recognize The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for what it is: a patriarchy. Because I also see the Church as so many good things: a haven, a home, and the delivery system for the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. How can that exist within an exclusionary structure?
As my feminist consciousness has gradually awakened since young adulthood, I have seen micro- and macro-patriarchy everywhere in my Church experience. Perhaps ironically, the more leadership experience I gained in the Church, the more I bumped up against the Patriarchy. And it has rubbed me the wrong way.
– I remember the chatter the first time a woman prayed in General Conference—I was 10. Should that be memorable?
– As a youth, I remember seeing people treat the female speakers at General Conference as a stretch break rather than a serious sermon.
– As a full-time missionary, for the first time in my life, my priesthood leaders were younger than me. They were put in leadership positions over me because of their (or actually my) sex, not a longer mission tenure, leadership aptitude, or better language skills.
– As Primary President, I began to attend ward council meetings, where women were outnumbered by men at least 3:1 most Sundays and had a slim slice of the speaking time.
– As Primary President, I was asked to prayerfully seek revelation regarding counselors and teachers to call, but my revelation would be dismissed if my male leaders felt differently. Every time.
I was made to feel weird about wearing pants to Sunday meetings, when there was nothing weird about wearing pants anywhere else I went!
– As a Relief Society presidency member, I brought up an important issue of a sensitive nature that the other five male leaders involved hadn’t considered. Two of the male leaders discussed it with each other and made an adjustment that I thought was appropriate—then took credit for the whole idea.
Last year, Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf courageously voiced, “In this mortal life, we rarely get to experience the ideal. And ‘until the perfect day,’ there will always be a gap between the ideal and the real.”
The Church’s patriarchal scaffolding is far from ideal, but it is only scaffolding—it can come down. And just as I have been disillusioned and hurt by it, I have also seen glimmers of hope.
Just before I left for my mission, the Church introduced Sister Training Leaders along with male District Leaders, Zone Leaders, and Assistants to the President. Not parity, but progress. Priesthood quorums have been consolidated, resulting in one less man attending Ward Council meetings. At least one Primary calling recommendation came to me through pure revelation and proved to be an incredible blessing for all involved. I wear pants to church about half the time and no one cares. As counselor to an incredibly inspired Relief Society President, I get to watch her bravely and intentionally speak up for women and for herself time and again, in the face of multiple male leaders who outrank her by virtue of their sex. I see that the power of God is working through her, and she presides with wisdom and grace.
Patriarchy is real, and it stings, because it is not the ideal. The only ideal life was our Savior’s, whose words and works demonstrated that all are precious, all are needed, and all are invited to become more like Him.
Allie Bradford Brown sees the world’s beauty, its problems, and its solutions through the dual lenses of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the Sociological Imagination (how personal experiences and choices are shaped by broader systems, norms, and historical context). Fittingly, she holds a Bachelor of Science in Sociology from Brigham Young University. Her two years as an AmeriCorps member at a GED program in Durham, North Carolina led her to pursue a Master of Public Administration degree from the University of North Carolina with an emphasis in nonprofit management. She currently works as a grant writer and is deeply interested in how personal generosity and philanthropy power the solutions generated by the nonprofit sector. Allie served a full-time mission in the vibrant island nation of Cape Verde. She and her husband Zach live in Durham, North Carolina with their three delightful boys ages 7, 4, and 1.