Several years ago, I was planning on leaving the continent for at least several years, so my siblings and I decided to have a reunion. Since we are spread across multiple states, provinces, and countries, we thought Las Vegas to be a fun place to gather. While there, between the fun and food, we thought that one of the best things we could do together was attend the temple. Since we had just flown in for the weekend, we all rented our temple clothes, and proceeded to an ordinance room.
While we were in the temple there was a point where I was asked to cover my face. Since I was not wearing my own temple clothes, the fabric that covered my face was more obscure than the sheer material I was used to. Though covered for only a matter of minutes, I started to feel claustrophobic, dizzy, and I had a hard time standing. Soon, resentment started filling my heart. Why did I have to cover my face, while men did not? Not wanting to focus on the negative while in the temple, I started to slow my breathing and concentrate on the moment.
At that point I felt clarity — an awakening as it were. I began to see the similarities between this cloth and the veil between ourselves and our Heavenly Parents — the veil between the pre-existence and our earthly probation. As women, we know so little about our Heavenly Mother and our unique role as spirits before this world began. She is, to a greater extent, veiled from us. While the roles of the priesthood are often laid out concretely in canonized scripture, we often have to search for ours. At that moment I felt as if I had complete clarity.
My eyes, as a woman, were veiled, for a reason that I did not know — but they wouldn’t always be. Shortly thereafter, I was able to look around the room and see my loving siblings. While I didn’t know any more at that moment about the things I so dearly would love to know, I knew that at some point, just like in the temple that day, all will be made plain and I will be able to see with perfect clarity — whether through additional revelation in this world, or the next.
I often think back to that day when I feel lost about my role as a female member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in today’s society. How do I fit? But when my mind returns to that moment in time, I am still able to feel that same peace and I am able to go forward with faith.